Too School for Cool

The soundtrack to my substitute teaching debut dropped on Friday.  A few songs took me by surpirse but none more than the title track. As a newly crowned substitute teacher I wanted to be ready for managing a classroom. On the eve before taking a middle school teaching assignment, I read a section about classroom management in the “Business Teacher Education Curriculum Guide” developed by the National Business Education Association (NBEA).  The benefits are twofold: (1) It is good terminology for an interview; (2) If it is printed in a book surely it is tried and absolutely true. Nonetheless, there are fifteen performance expectations. I was focused mainly on the first one where the expectations shed light on designing a classroom layout conducive to the following:

• Utilize proximity to monitor behavior
• Capitalize on peer pressure
• Redirect negative behavior to positive

Fast-forward to period four on Friday afternoon. The third English class – the third time going over the same lesson with a different class. I was feeling versed as far as content and timing. I even used my prep period to brush up on some formative assessment that I could contribute. Transitioning from the warm-up to the read-aloud students actively volunteered to read two paragraphs at a time. While reading, I was walking around the room — utilizing the proximity. A student read a “key word” and in unison the entire class performed a sneeze with their hands coupled over their mouth. The person reading continued without skipping a beat. The story ended and the students closed their books, set them on the desk, and everyone raised their hand. Everyone. I froze. While maintaining composure I called on one student. One student’s question was amplified by the class asking in unison, “May I go to the bathroom.” I grinned in awe of the orchestrated events that just unfolded before my eyes. Before answering the question I focused my eyes on the doorway then immediately up to the ceiling waiting for Howie Mandel to make an appearance. Is this a Flash Mob? I never witnessed a flash mob, but this experience was bar none. I stood in amazement looking from student to student admiring the solidarity.

• How did they do this?
• When did they plan this?
• Who is the ring leader?
• How did he/she get EVERY student to follow suit?

When I snapped back to reality I stood firm in my decision to only let one person go to the bathroom at a time. And like good cadets they followed instruction and one by one I initialed agenda books and the class continued as planned.

The bottom line is that I was schooled in classroom management. In my humble opinion the class governed themselves (don’t you think?). I can read every book in the library, but nothing prepares a teacher for the cast of students that I had on Friday afternoon. In my recap to the classroom teacher I simply wrote, “Period 4 is unified.” The title track that blared in my head as I walked to my car is sung by none other than Alecia Moore. How fitting as she once occupied a desk in the adjacent school district.