I was not feeling so lucky three short weeks ago. I was drained and ready for a break – I am still both, but I also have a new energy and understanding from the support of this group and the learning that I have made over the past three weeks.
I always get emotional at good-byes and today was a big one. I have been trying to shut away so much for the past three months and every once in a while it boils through the surface. Three weeks ago I really struggled with my narrative. I cannot explain who I really am without feeling loss, pain and tears. I struggled for many days, but finally came up with the ability to show a piece of who I am rather than that big picture. The big picture is badly needing some repairs and I will be thankful to have a holiday for some r and r.
Julie taught me to think of the blog as a letter which has been an amazing avenue for me. Now I can use a personal blog to write letters to my dad. Hopefully one day, I will again be able to share the wonderful man he was with other great educators without it being such a painful and upsetting ordeal. He deserves to have his story told and it is a huge part of my story.
Stephen always asks how I am, but with an interest and understanding of the space I am in. I am deeply moved by the fact that we are not just a group to him, but individuals with whom he cares for.
Last night as we discussed ways we were going to celebrate our completion of this program I realized again how much different this program is for me right now. Tragedy has brought heartache and tears and will continue to do so as it bubbles to the surface. But I do know that I am in the right place and with people who are also such great educators and people. Thank you to all and have a good break.