Bullying messages

The above video is assumedly created with a positive heart.  Certainly, we all think bullying is a problem.  We may have differing opinions on what constitutes bullying, but that’s a whole other post.  This video shows kids being bullied, all the while singing about how one day they will be the bosses of the bullies, and will not give them raises, promotions or nice treatment in general.  

A few thoughts, however…
People should not be given the message that the reason we shouldn’t bully is because one day, the victim might bully you back.  That’s not why we shouldn’t bully.  That’s a self-centred, “what is in it for me” attitude, and if the reason a kid stops bullying another is because one day he might be his boss, then something is wrong there.  He/she should stop bullying because of his/her own internal motivation to simply be a nice person, to build his self-concept and self-esteem, not so people will treat him/her better, but to increase his/her own feelings of self-worth.  

We shouldn’t be taught to seek revenge.  It goes against the idea shared before that we should be creating an anti-bullying CULTURE, not CURRICULUM.  
Bullying is defined as the use of force, threat or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or impose domination over another, which is repeated and habitual.  Are we thus saying that this is ok if it is your boss treating you this way?  Are we excusing it if your boss was bullied as a child, or if you were mean to someone when YOU were younger?

We should be teaching kids to reinforce each other for supporting each other, for standing up for each other, and for not laughing along or remaining silent when witnessing mean or disrespectful behaviour.    We should be modelling HOW to stand up for each other by NOT being silent when witnessing a mean or disrespectful act.  We should look within ourselves and determine our own sources of discontent when making defensive or retaliatory remarks about others in front of our children or peers, and stop to try to understand the other point of view.  In doing so, we teach others to do the same.  Make it cool to stop fighting because it’s simply a better world when we get along, not because the person might one day retaliate or seek revenge.  

On that note, the efforts of the video maker are very much applauded.  It brings in humour to reach a wide audience who doesn’t simply want to be preached to, and is trying wholeheartedly to get a message across to those who are bullying by imagining what might motivate them to STOP bullying.  Hopefully, the message that gets out there is that there is no long term benefit to bullying (and the whole karmic what-goes-around-comes-around message), empathy for the underdog, and certainly the “it gets better” message, which is such a strong message.  

I leave you with that message as well (below).  There are some wonderful messages as part of this campaign (The It Gets Better Project), but this one is powerful.  We can’t always change the problem overnight, but we can provide support to those who are victims of bullying (and there are many individuals and populations that are at higher risk), and both the videos included here shed light on the big picture – that nothing lasts, and that wonderful things are yet to come.